Mmm...

I haven't really been on here in a few days.

Anyway, I'm depressed again. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me....I think I'm just meant to be depressed all my frickin life...It runs in my family (seriously)

About ten hell, five minutes ago I was happy and cheery, but now I'm depressed.

Ok, I got online this late so I could talk to my friend Nick, who's at boarding school. I mean, I like to sleep and the fact that I'm giving it up is amazing. So, when I get online, I wait and wait and wait and then Nick says sorry and that he's about to go talk to some folks and to send him a long email..."about my childhood or something"...

What the hell? Dude, I'm crushed to say the least. HE'S been the one moaing and groaing to me about how we never chat, and then he leaves when I come on! I told him when I'd be on too...Dude, and he's going to talk to OTHER PEOPLE AT BOARDING SCHOOL! He could talk to those folks any other time! My god, seriously. It sucks. I hate when people do that, bitch and complain to you about something you're doing, and then they turn around and do it themselves. Then they expect you to understand...That's crap. What the hell man.

Ok ok, I may be just venting some anger and my sadness. but it still hurts. Like, I'm trying to make time to talk to my friends, but it's hard. What crap.

Ok, I can understand a little, but not much. I like to talk o folks too...Ok, not really..Not on the phone...I have like a phone phobia or something and I hate talking on the phone...I don't know...need to get that fixed.

But I'm still pissed at Nick though. Screw his email. He'll get it eventually. Grr...
I know I'll feel better tomorrow, WHICH I HAVE OFF!!!! yay...but it's dampened by the fact that I was ditched tonight. At least Roberta won't ditch me...

ahh....I hate mood swings..teenage mood swings

I'm Alive!

I feel like a new girl! The world has taken over a different view! jesus reigns!

Ok, that last bit was unnesscary, but I do feel good and alive. Maybe it was the fact that I had thousands of tons of work to do and no time to do it...God, i was a depressed wreck the past few days. But now, I see sunshine! And my jealousy. See, I get motivated by jealousy, which then makes me want to do things better. It's sick, I know. But I usually joke about it, and my friends know that, or they'll find out.

Anyway, i feel like writing and drawing. I'm terrified of drawing though, cause I know my pic will suck or something. I had one of those *talent revelations* today. In Theology (least fav class and last class of the day) I drew the top of this face, and it wasn't that horrible. It was HORRIBLY out of proportion, but it was a good face. Eyes, ears, nose, everything. All it needed was like, some more detail, and to be more thought out. Hell, I will draw! I will! I will draw and write an emo poem! Or story. I want to draw though...

Lately, I've been reading this series call Saiyuki. It's amazing. Hot men everywhere, and drama and action, then the youkai! I know, like billions of people have heard about it, but you should really check it out. I'm on book four, I'm borrowing the books from a friend at school. It's some good stuff.

Anyway, I'm off. I'm all excited and ready for tomorrow. God, I wish I could always be like this....Oh, on a more serious note..

I think I'm psychic. No, seriously. Like, I know what people are gonna say before they say it so much to the point that people only have to say two words and I know the rest of the sentence and I can answer it! I have like a 70% accuracy rate. Plus, I have these dreams, and they're all foggy and stuff, but then I think aboutthem, and poof they happen! Then once I think about something, it happens! It's all random. Like one day, I was sitting there thinking about this guy asking me about this word, and then a dream I had (twice) about it and then the guy asked me about the word. Then, I had this dream that I would get the best grade in the 9th grade on the physics test, like three days before the test and then I GOT THE BEST GRADE ON THAT TEST OUT OF ALL THE 9TH GRADERS AT MY SCHOOL!!!!! WHAAAA? Its so scary, but now that I spoke about it, I know it won't happen anymore. It's like as soon as you say something about stuff like this, it goes away. My god, it's creepy. So, now it's gonna go away. Good.
Now every thinks I'm a crazy hoe. Great....I may be crazy, but I'm not a hoe. No no hoe. No no NO! Lol...

I haven't been here in a while...I've been seriously busy.

I'm tired, I'm always tired, I don't know what to put...I feel like ranting, but I'm soo tired, I don't really want to anymore...I'm always drained now that I'm in high school...this sucks...

(not much of a post, eh?)