Death Note

Well, I finally finished the series. It was sad. Heartbreaking, actually. I mean, why can't evil win for once? Not in the real world, no way, but in manga? Why can't the sexy evildoers get a shot at the limelight? Jesus, it was crappy, that ending. Well, compared to book endings, the ending to Death Note was pretty good. But it was so cheesy! "Goodness prevails and the beginning is your end." That's the theme. Basically.

Plus, everyone sexy dies. All the hot bastards die! *Sigh* I wish they had lived. Especially L. That dude was holy with his looks. I worship him! So smart, so carefree(in a sense). And Light was his first friend! How sweet!

Then this Mat dude. I've seen him in so many fanworks, so when I was reading I was thinking, "This guy must be huge!"...He wasn't! He showed up in about three chapters maximum, and then he was in only a couple pages! And Mello had a surprisingly small role too! That kind of made me mad. Why have such a huge MatxMello fandom when they both did so little? And what about Teru Mikami? He had a much, MUCH bigger role than Mat. But I hate Teru. He was such a wimp. A pussy. That word gives me the shivers. Anyway, at the end he's all like, "You're not God Kira!" and I was like, WTF? Dude, think of Jesus! You're just like the people who put Jesus on the cross.

Of course I know Kira is not Jesus, but you can easily compare the two. By doing this though, you would upset thousands, so I won't get into it.

You know what Ness? I can't wait until I get some artistic talent and can draw bodies, cause then I'm gonna be drawing so much slash and smut it won't be funny! Never have I finished a manga series with so many hot dudes! All slashable! It was fangirl heaven Ness! Ooh, I'm so excited!

Oh, and that was the first manga series I finished! Wow...I can actually dedicate myself to something...With hard work.

Strobe Lights

Giving posts random titles is so rewarding! Makes me feel like I'm saying something of importance, somehow.

I'm smart, right Ness? I dunno. Sometimes I think that's my downfall, especially since I'm a teenager. Being smart and a teen is not very cool. Or, shall I say, being smart and not a complete geek as a teen is weird. I really don't know what I am. I don't think I'm a complete geek, since I'm too flaky to totally fall into a series and know everything about it. Though that would be cool to do.

I ALWAYS bring this stuff up! I remember the posts where I talk about how my social situation isn't to my liking. I think the only way to change this is to spend a crazy amount of time on Gaia or Myspace or one of those sites with other human beings on it. I don't want to spend all that time on there!

I think that's my problem. I don't like spending a lot of time doing something. I have to be totally obsessed with something in order for me to spend a lot of time doing it. The problem with that is I get totally into something and then back off. Like, for a week I'll want to play the Sims 2 non-stop but the week after that I want to think about playing Kingdom Hearts. Lol! I can get into thinking about something and never doing it too. That's worse than just getting obsessed with doing something cause then I'm not doing anything at all! Bad bad bad me!

Oooh, maybe I should start labeling my posts...?

Eh...No.

Rompe!

Rompe is the Spanish word for break (the verb). I'm so glad I remembered it! Plus, it's spring! Huzzah! HUZZAH I say! I'm so happy that it's Spring. Thanks Google, for reminding me.

Today my mom made me mad! Not only did she bitch at me for not having clothes on at 1 (it sounds bad on here, but it's my first day on vacation!) and then got mad when I hadn't eaten either. When we were leaving I had thrown together a bagel sandwich and that pissed her off apparently. But that wasn't what made me mad. OK, it did, but not as much. It was just the normal mom-associated anger.

Anyway, we left the house and we went to this place called Once Upon a Child. It's one of those stores where you donate clothes and toys and stuff for money. I knew there would be drama in there, cause as soon as we walked in with all of Arieana's old crap, this lady was in there arguing about the price of the clothes she was giving away. Giving away! You're lucky to be getting anything really, and it's for people who need it more than you. I was mad at that lady but then my mom did the same thing!

She wanted me to sit up there and watch the lady go through the stuff and then when the lady only took about a third of what we brought, my mom damn near cussed her out! She was complaining about how much money she had spent on the stuff in the first place and how it was brand new and how the store had crap strung up on the walls. It was really embarrassing. I think I would have been happy with twenty bucks. I dunno...Probably not. But still, she was giving the crap away, so any money is good money.

Jayson is coming up to stay with Katherine over Spring Break. This worries me. They want to hang out somewhere. Two problems: 1) I'm broke. I don't want to hang out anywhere if I don't have money to spend. A trip to the mall is NOT a trip to the mall if Ariel doesn't go home with a book or manga. And 2) my mom might not take me because then she'll be stuck at home with Arieana or she won't take me because it's Tower City and Tower City is filled with rapists and kidnappers who want me in their basement. Last time I wanted to hang out with Jayson and Katherine, my mom and Arieana had to be there. Not cool.

I dunno. There's a lot of things going through my mind when I think about hanging out with those two. The hermity side of me wants to stay shut in my house for a week, but the teenage side wants to go out and experience life. I need to start working on balancing the two.

Groupies

Yeah, the guy who played Judas in the play has a horde of freshman groupies after him. I don't blame them actually, cause the kid is fine. He has a washboard stomach and muscles! But he's shorter than me (No surprise there, huh?) and he's a freshman. And I think he doesn't like me very much. Even if he did like me I wouldn't date him. Eh, the connection isn't there.

Godspell is officially over! I'm sooo happy Ness! You really can't understand the joy I feel. I mean, yeah it was fun, but you saw how I was pulling out my hair the entire time. That nervousness wasn't fun at all. It sucked at times! I wanted to quit at times! Yes, I really did! You know I'm not a quitter Ness! Yeah...

I'm pretty sure I mentioned this, but it won't hurt to bring it up again: Mori is killing me! What do I have to do to appease these teenage bastards! Like, seriously! Everybody seems so damn close and buddy-buddy on there that it's sickening! Sickening I say! I don't know what I have to do to make friends on that website. Any website really. I don't know what my problem is...I'm so awesome though!

I got the Aspire job! YAY! I have to work on my birthday...NO! Ah well. I'm tired. Bye!

I Survived!

Yes, I survived the big performance! I sang that song by myself, along with the director's husband! Now I have to sing that song again Tuesaday. I just thought you should know this Ness.

I'll post sometime again soon. Hopefully.

Tone Deaf

Yes, that's what I am! Tone deaf! I cannot sing! No, I can't. Not at all. Not in the least or the most. I can't sing at all.

I think I should look back at my previous posts and see what possessed me to join theater in the first place. I can't sing, dance, or act. Why did I join? Joining just to join is not a good reason, and hopefully I learn my lesson from this whole experience and never say that again.

UGH! Nick, the other ensemble member, wasn't at practice today so I had to sing that God forsaken willows song all by myself! And boy, was I bad. Nobody else in the cast said anything about my horribleness, but then again they had their own little goodbye things they had to do.

I'm not the only horrible singer in the theater group, but I think I'm the only one that has to sing alone. And really really high. Everyone else sounds remotely good, but me? NO! And then I have to use a microphone! I was kinda hoping I could just sing without it so no one would hear me, but then the director throws the microphone in my face so everyone in West Africa can hear me. Great.

And I know, "You knew you were going to sing so you shouldn't have joined." But I thought I'd be singing in a group and not by my lonesome. Luckily Nick is going to be singing with me, but for two verses I'm all by myself. UGH! I shouldn't have joined. Really, I shouldn't have.

The scary thing is that I might join next year too! I can't resist! I may not like being on stage, but I like going to practices and singing with the group and stuff. I just don't like the fact that I have to sing that song...I sound so bad! That's the problem, I suck at singing that song! By no means am I Mariah Carey, but that stinking song is hard! A part of me wishes I was blessed with vocal talent...But we all can't be blessed with everything.

I had my Aspire interview today. It went ok. It could have gone better, but it was good. I hope I get that job.

I can't wait until theater is over. A lot of people know I can't sing. And if people complain I'll just tell them they should of replaced me.

There's a lot of people in my school that are into theater, but for some reason they never join the school's theater group. WTF? Why won't these people who go on and on about their theater career try out for our theater group? When I ask these people this they always have twenty billion excuses, one of the most common is that they didn't know when the auditions were (yeah right). Or that they didn't like the play (whatever). Or that their parents didn't let them. Sometimes I think they're lying. It always makes me mad, cause our theater group could use some help. But I'm still glad it's almost over. Just two more weeks of this! Two more weeks!

So Thirsty!!

Good Lord! I'm starting to get aggravated about my RPing situation. I don't know if I told you Ness, but I dropped the Winnie account and made a new one with more characters. I'm still on Mori. That's the place giving me all the grief.

First, nobody replies to my RPs. I'm stuck between whether my opening posts suck or it's my titles. I'm pretty sure it's my titles. I think I would be thoroughly hurt if my characters were to blame. Although I think that too! People want the out of the box these days, and the gothier the character the better. None of my characters fit this criteria other than Grielle, who is by far the more popular among my characters. Astra and Ezra always get replies, even if it takes a few months. I just don't know. I really get hurt, cause some people start the crappiest of threads with those damn one-liners and they always get replies. What, Ness, do I need to do? I dunno. I'm gonna keep working on it.

Second, I know there's no law saying you can't reply to people's character pages, but come on. Seriously. I think it's a friend thing. Like all these people know each other outside of the website and they just chat it up on there. That's fine and dandy, but...I'll be real. I get so jealous! Nobody ever gets hype over me or my babies. Not on the internet or in real life. I don't know how to connect with people I guess. But I'm going to work on it.

Ugh. All the after school programs were closed today, and Saturday jugs canceled, but we STILL have practice tomorrow! Ness, I seriously can't wait to get this play off my back, along with the song. I haven't even practiced in a week. I feel bad, but not really. No, if I suck I suck. That's it. Really.

My Aspire interview has been moved to Sunday. I still wish it was tomorrow. Just to get it over with. My English teacher totally put me on blast and sent everyone an email about it. So all day people, random teachers, would stop me in the hallway and congratulate me. I was slightly embarrassed. I didn't even get the job! We'll all look real stupid if I don't get the job and they congratulated me like that. Real dumb.

Mom's B-Day

Today's my mom's birthday! I felt so bad that I couldn't think of a card idea that I wrote her a letter saying I owed her one. She liked it. I didn't think she'd like it as much, but she really did. Hopefully I can remember to wow her with her card.

That meeting we had was nice. It sucked, but not as bad as I thought it would. I learned a lot about my mom and she learned a lot from me. For example, I found out that my mom was/still is extremely depressed. That sucked about the meeting. I want my mom to be happy, but she came out and said that she was crying everyday. I felt so bad! Then she explained it wasn't our (me and my sister) fault. It was all my dad's fault. No surprise there.

I mostly explained myself. I explained that I have major time management problems and that's why I never do chores. This is so true! I need to work out my time better, cause most of the time I do leisurely stuff. And then I explained that Arieana never tells me anything, like if she's hungry or if she ate or not. I always get in trouble because Arieana wants to be quiet until my mom wakes up when she knows I'm around to feed her. It makes me so mad! But my mom knows now, so hopefully if I forget to ask Arieana if she's hungry, she won't yell at me as much.

OGT is coming up! I'm nervous about the math section. That's the only one I'm pretty sure I can fail. The others you can think your way out, but in Math you have to know something. I know nothing. Or I remember nothing. I barely passed the practice test we had last week and Study Island is a total waste of time. It's so hard! So boring! I could be looking at anime pictures or thinking instead of failing all those quizzes on there. Ugh. I can't wait until this is over.

Another thing that I want to end is theater. The only reason I joined was to join. Yeah. It would look good on a college application later on, so to get used to the theater geeks, I might as well start now, right? Ugh! People are so annoying! Most of the ensemble members quit, and that's fine and dandy, but now I have to sing two verses of a song by myself! OK, this isn't all that bad, since there are people who have to sing ENTIRE songs by themselves. But I have to sing so high! Eh. There's only two performances, so that's not so bad. It'll be over lickety-split and I'll be back to doing nothing. What I enjoy most.

OR I could use my free time to start drawing again. I haven't drawn in a long time! I really want to use that book I got on drawing. I mean, get through the whole book. I really hated the contour drawing though. I don't know why, but I really didn't enjoy that. Oh well. I'm gonna finish that book sometime in my lifetime. That's for sure. I just don't know when...

DAMN YOU STEAK AND SHAKE!!! And all your damn milkshake deliciousness! Ugh! I feel so sick right now. I felt even worse this morning. I woke up at 2:39 AM! AM! And I stayed up until like, ten or so when I started my series of short naps. I'd say in all I got about four to five hours of sleep last night. Maybe six. Yeah, cause I went to bed at 11 before I woke up.

A long story is about to start Ness! But before I get into all that, I got the Aspire interview! Can you believe it? Neither can I! I totally thought my mom sent in all that stuff too late, but she didn't obviously. All I'm worried about is teaching a ten-minute activity to the head honchos of the place. I hope I can come up with something spectacular before Saturday.

So, yesterday after theater practice, my family and I went to the IX Center to see the Auto Show. OK, I know, I always hate going to the IX Center and it tends to be awesome...At least, that's what I remember. My memories and reality are always arguing anyway.

So, the Auto Show was nice. I really enjoyed the robot, Maxwell, that one of the car companies had. He was so funny! But my mom got mad because she came to see the cars, not a "damn robot" as she put it.

At first, I thought things would be worse than normal with my parents because whenever we go out, they always argue and bitch about something relatively stupid. But at the Auto Show, everything was surprisingly cool! They were actually speaking calmly and looking at each other, my mom didn't really raise her voice, and my dad and I were talking! I haven't spoken to him in weeks, ever since that whole falling out happened. I don't want to mention it again if I did already, nor do I want to mention it now, so yeah, he messed up big time. So I didn't talk to him.

Everything was cool at the Auto Show. Great. We get in the car and start heading for Steak and Shake, one of my favorite places to go. The food is cheap, but the milkshakes are to die for! The only difference this time is we went to the Steak and Shake closest to us, in the Steelyard. That was a horrible idea! God-awful! If I could turn back time, I would tell my mom to just stop by Wendy's or something. Get us some lard.

We get to Steak and Shake, sit down, and start talking. All is well. Then our server comes over. And fucks up our orders. Of course, I don't really care, because through some mystical magic I end up getting two milkshakes. But my mom is completely pissed. Like, off the wall, spitting flames, eyes red, pissed. It was also the quiet pissed, not yelling, but mumbling to your neighbors (which included me) about how you were going to hurt somebody. It was scary.

My mom then starts to get into us after my dad says something really rude. She says she doesn't get appreciated and how she's going to live in misery and be fat and all this other stuff. She got up and left us. Then I started to get mad. Every time we go out as a family, it ends horribly! It never ends well!

We were supposed to have a family meeting at six...I'm not sure that's going to happen.

Well, I gotta do my homework. Hopefully everything works itself out.