Sometimes I get the feeling that Jayson is lying to me. I get that feeling with a lot of people I talk to these days, and there's nothing I can do about it. Yeah, I could question what they're talking about by dipping my big nose in their lives, but that'd be for what? The only person I'd try to do that with is Jayson. Just cause we're so close.

So yeah, yesterday we were talking (way too much) and he tells me...Let's just cover the whole conversation.

I wasn't too psyched to go to bowling yesterday (it got canceled) and Jayson called pretty much right after school let out. I was bored, and wanted to look cool, so I talked to the guy...Yeah, he's desperate. I mean, I used to think I was pretty thirsty for a relationship, but Jayson takes it to another level. He talked about selling his body and other crazy crap. And I talked him out of it.

Jayson makes me want to like shake him or something. I have to take into account he has some sort of imbalance (seriously) and that he's sensitive, but keeping quiet is starting to get on my nerves. He always has to go to extremes. He really worries me.

Oh yeah, the lying thing. Jayson tells me about how some girl asked him to do drugs and how he thought about it. Then he goes into a story about he's been drunk a bunch of times and how he blacked out twice. Then he tells me about his little sexcapade in 8th grade and I'm like, WTF?

Now, don't get me wrong, it's very possible that Jayson could of lived a life on the crazy side...But then it's like he brings this stuff up at really odd times. And so freely! It's hard to describe. Then it's like he's confused. You know how confused people just bring up random stuff when they don't know what's going on...I get that same feeling with Jayson.

Yesterday he said he wanted, no excuse me, he cross-dressed and wished he could do it in public. WHAT THE F***?! Ness, you know me, and you know I love me some cross-dressing boys, but Jayson? I've never ever imagined him doing something like that, and he seemed pretty repulsed by the idea (I know I've brought it up at least once, especially since watching Fruits Basket.) but to now all of a sudden say these things.

A part of my soul is convinced Jayson is a confused being. There's no doubt about it. The advice I give him about finding his true self, something I'm still trying to do, he completely ignores. Ah well...