I drew a picture!

Yay! That picture is awesome too, but my scanner is small and my sktechbook is huge, so everything didn't get in the pic, but it's good.

There's a reason I drew the picture (which I'm trying to color in Paint at the moment...Not making too much progress on it though...). My dad said he was gonna take me and my sister to the movies today, and it wasn't a movie I wanted to see, but it was still a movie, so I was ready to go. My mom calls me and when she sees me she gets mad and says (story time!):

"Take that goddamn shirt off!"

So, I walk back to my room and take my shirt off and change shirts. I was pissed. I knew where she was going with the yelling. It happens everytime I try to leave the house.

My mom then bursts in my room and starts rummaging through my closest and then yells at me AGAIN to change shirts. Feeling slowly defeated, I just stand behind her in my bra waiting for her to hurry the hell up and get out of my room. By that point, I really didn't want to go to the movies anymore.

My mom then throws a like ten shirts at me and tells me to put one of those shirts on. This wasn't said nicely or calmly either. It was yelled at me.

I chose the first shirt (betty bop is on the front posing like she's at the playboy mansion and american beauty is on the front in big red letters), even though I hate it with a passion. It's so...Not me, I mean, I don't want to walk around with a half naked chick on my shirt (non-anime chick).

Well, my mom is in the bathroom, so I wait for her at the dining table. I'm pouting, and on the verge of tears. Seeing this, my mom stands in the kitchen (where you can clearly see her) and says:

"I don't know why the fuck she (refering to me) gettin an attitude. She can sit there all she want. I spend all my money on those shirts and those clothes, for her to always walk outside looking like a bum! Now she know why I don't like buying her shit. Cause she always wanns go outside looking like an ugly, bum." Then she walked away.

Well, I sat in the chair and cried for a second before going to the bathroom to cry for a few minutes. Then I wiped my face, combed my hair, and went in my room. My little sanctuary.

God, I remember ever word she said. Especially the ugly bum part. ESPECIALLY, the UGLY bum part. My god woman. You don't tell your already self-conscience daughter that she looks like an ugly bum...A part of me (the sick, realistic part) keeps asking myself "What if my mom wasn't talking about the clothes, what if she was talking about...me?" You know? I mean, it wasn't even like the shirts I had on before had holes and stains, they were regular old t-shirts. One for the red cross (that my mom gave me) and another that I got for volunteering at the art camp...I earned that art camp shirt...

But anyway, I didn't go to the movies (I just said I didn't feel well to my dad) and stayed at home. The first like half an hour I just sat there and watched TV and cried. Then I picked up my sktechbook and tried to do a drawing exercise. I didn't want to do that, so I just picked up a pencil and drew a picture. I gotta finish coloring it though,...I wish i had photoshop, but it's expensive...

I'm gonna go be depressed cause my mom is a bitch and thinks I'm ugly. Oh, an a bum. Almost forgot.

Tomorrow I gotta start training at school. Hopefully, my mom won't talk about what I'm wearing, cause I'M gonna choose it. God, I wish she'd lay off sometimes...

P.S-ignore my spelling...i'm depressed at the moment