Alive!

Yes, I am not dead cyberspace! I'm alive! Lol.

I would be lying if I said nothing much has been going on in my life. So much stuff has happened, that in fact, I feel to lazy to put any of it in this blog. It's not that I've forgotten about you Mr, it's just, I've been lazy. I've been lazy with everything, not just you, so, sorry blog.

Well, first off, school's ok. I don't talk much anymore, but that's cool. I'm not gonna die about it. It seems cool to be the quiet smart girl, I guess. It won't get me anymore friends, but it's cool so far.

My great grandmother died yesterday. I feel sorta bad, but I'm not boohooing about it. It sounds mean, but I just didn't know her all that well. My mom has been over the edge. So much so, that I've let her little snippets about me go without me yelling at her. Well, me yelling at her wouldn't do too much good, she'd just yell back. But since she's going through so much stress, I'll let her go.

Um, Nick is still about boarding school. He says he hates his roommates, which I'm secretly pleased with. To tell the truth, I'm extremely jealous of Nick and his good fortune. Like, how he gets to meet open minded people, how he gets to meet people from different countries, how he gets to learn new stuff. I'm so jealous. But, it's not like I'm upset-with-my-life-jealousy, it's more of I-wish-I-had-the-opportunity-jealousy. The latter isn't all that much better then the former.

Today I got a comment from a kid that I sounded like an adult. No, it wasn't the "Wow, you're so mature" sounding adult, it was "Wow, you're so old" sounding adult. The guy basically said I sounded old. It hurt a little, but then answered my question about why I don't connect to well with teenagers. I've noticed since I became a tween that I'm not on the same level as teenagers, socially. I would say mentally, but then I would be sounding rude and I would probably be lying.

I do wish I could connect with teens better. I don't understand it. I am an interesting person, but to people my age I come off as boring, and stuffy. I can just tell by the expression on their faces when I walk up to them and open my mouth. It's horrible. Just because I'm not interested in having sex, drinking and partying, that doesn't mean I'm complete boresville. That's what everyone thinks. Hell, I share common interests as most teens (you know, anime, computers etc.) but even that doesn't get me friends. And so what if I'm a little shy at first? Once I start talking, I'll never stop. I just wish teens wouldn't assume I'm being mean and ignorant if I don't go all out and have a conversation with them. Sadly, my social future doesn't look bright, because my mom says adults are the same way.