Hazel

I don't know how to start this off on the right foot. Here goes...

Thursday, January 25th 2007, this guy that I went to school with passed away. I barely knew the dude; we just said hello in the halls and had very short, very abrupt conversatons. But, he passed. His name was Christian Overton.

God man, this is bad. Ii just is. So far the family is saying it was an accident.

I'm stuck for words right now. I don't know what to say.

It bothers me that I cried for this guy and not for my own great-grandmother...I mean, I was talking to Jayson, trying to comfort him, and then I just started to cry. I dunno why. Then Hazel (my great-grandmother) flashed into my head. I didn't cry at her funeral. Or when I found out she died...It sucks so much that I couldn't at least shed a tear for my own blood. I just couldn't. I don't know why. But then yesterday I cried for a few minutes. I had to stop cause my mom was outside my room (going to the bathroom I guess). I did want to get up and get a hug from her, but I decided against it.

Instead, I got off the phone with Jayson and wrote a poem for Hazel. Yep, a poem. If you know me Ness, you know that me and poetry are like...Just not on the same frequency. I detest poetry, well MY poetry. Whenever I write a poem and read it to someone, they laugh at me and make fun of me. But I wrote one for Hazel. I couldn't handle not doing anything for her.

Is it a good poem Ness? No. Well, yes. Hazel probably thinks it's good. The English speaking world? Uh, no. Oh well, there's only one person I'm trying to please with this poem.

"Dear Hazel"

Dear Hazel
Writing is hard for me
It never feels real, it never feels right
Poetry is beyond my feeble mind
But this one is for you

The words don't flow, Hazel
Not like they do with the emo teens on Lifetime (hehe)
When those girls write
Their words flow like waterfalls of emotion and life
Mine sputter like a dumb old car that has never touched open road

I have a surprise, Hazel
I cried today
I cried for you, although four months too late
It only lasted seconds
The tears were dry before I noticed I shed them

I feel so emptry Hazel
The death of a boy I barely knew cause more tears, more emotion
Than the death of my own blood; My own great-grandmother
Please forgive me
Please

What has happened, Hazel?
I need to stop
I need you to know I care
But my emotions feel so superficial to me!
I hope you know they're real

Ok, Hazel. I love you.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I miss you dearly too.

Hazel, let's just smile!
Have you forgiven me? Have you heard my cry?
My words are bulky and ignorant; I know you'll get my point
My tears for you are in my heart. They're bottled up inside
If I see you ever again, will you make me feel alive?

Hehe, I miss you Hazel. The world lost a good one when it lost you.

That's the end of my poem. I'm happy with it. Hehe, I really am. I changed it a little, but it's good. It makes near to no sense, but that's ok. Hazel will get it. I know she will.